my group loves critical hit and miss stuff...when random stuff happens. nothing too deadly mind you, but they dont mind the occasional hit point loss/healing surge loss when they roll a 1.

ive found tons of crit/fumble tables with all kinds of severity, but nothing that is all encompassing like i want. basically i want this:

1. chart format...so when you roll a 1 or 20, you roll a d10 and maybe a d4 or something to determine what box the dm reads
2. box contains bonus or penalty to roll result
3. box also contains fluff for me to read....preferably funny stuff.

______EDIT_______

here are the categories i'm creating for crit hit/miss. once the list is finished completely, i will compile everything into a downloadable chart/pdf if anyone wants it. until it's finished though, i'll be updating here as i come up with more, but feel free to make suggestions!

Melee Crit

1. You strike down upon your enemy's skull, dragging your weapon across it's right eye and plucking it completely from it's socket! (enemy takes additional 1 [W] damage, and is blinded for the rest of the encounter)
2. The sheer force of your attack is felt by more than just your main target, as your rage extends to an additional foe with a forceful wave of energy. (deal 1/2 damage of main attack to another target within 5 squares)
3. After dealing the first slash with your weapon, in one motion you spin and strike your enemy in the gut with the blunt end of your weapon, causing the creature to double over in pain. (creature takes additional 1 [W] damage and is Stunned until the end of it's next turn)
4. The blunt force of your attack smashes straight into the chest cavity of your enemy causing him to stumble back and collapse in agony. (target is pushed 1 square and falls prone)
5. With a deft slice, you swiftly strike across your opponent's arm, causing him to drop his weapon and begin to bleed profusely. (target drops weapon and takes additional 1[W] damage)
6. Swinging violently with your weapon, you sweep across the creatures' chest, and follow it with an additional strike using your free hand...sending the creature whirling and spinning about, causing it to fall into another creature. (creature is pushed back 3 squares towards the nearest creature, both fall prone)
7. With a powerful strike you swing directly into the targets' limb with the blunt end of your weapon, crushing it completely. (target takes 1d6 damage and is Weakened for the rest of the encounter)
8. You deftly swing through your target's attempt to block your attack and send the creature's weapon sailing through the air. (targets' weapon is sent flying 1d4 squares away)
9. Following your intial attack, you perform a stiff shoulder barge and send your opponent staggering back. (target takes additional 1d4 damage and is pushed 1 square)
10. Raring back and then lunging forward with all of your weight behind you, you deliver a powerful headbutt directly to your opponents' forehead. (target takes additional 1d4 damage and is Stunned - save ends)
11. Your weapon carves an arc from your opponent's temple through the jaw and deep into the shoulder, causing you to be showered by a spray of blood. (target takes additional 1d4 damage and ongoing 2 damage until the end of the encounter)


Melee Fumble

1. Pulling your weapon back over your head to deliver a massive strike to your enemy, you swing forward with all your might...only to lose your grip and fling your weapon across the room. (weapon is thrown 1d6 squares)
2. Your helmet slips down over your head (or hair falls into face) as you swing blindly and completely miss your target. (spend one action to "adjust")
3. A potion leaks down your pants and into your boots. (movement -2 until end of encounter)
4. You thrust your weapon directly into the ground. (Standard action to remove it)
5. You feel a twinge as your ankle twists. (Immobilizied until the end of your next turn)
6. As you swing your weapon around for a vicious attack, you graze your forehead and open a wound, causing blood to run into your eyes. (take 1d6 damage and your Blinded until the end of your next turn)
7. You swing wildly at your enemy and completely whiff, sending you round and round, spinning several times. (Dazed until the end of your next turn)
8. Your attempts to move gracefully through your attack are thwarted as you feel a muscle tighten in your groin, and you fall to the ground in pain. (Prone and you take 1d4 damage)
9. You clip one of the staps holding your armor in place as you attempt your attack. (Take -2 to AC until full standard action is used to fix armor)
10. You feel a rock in the bottom of your shoe and find it extremely uncomfortable. (movement is halved until you take a Standard Action to remove the rock)

Range Crit

1. With extreme accuracy, you launch a proectile (or shoot an arrow) towards your foe and strike it directly in the leg, dropping the creature to one knee and breaking it's limb. (additional 1[W] damage and target is Slowed for the rest of the encounter)
2. Your arrow whips through the air and connects with your foes right ear. It howls in pain as blood begins pouring down. (target is Deafened for rest of encounter, and takes ongoing 5 damage for wound - save ends)
3. You follow your initial attack by reaching for two daggers in your belt with your free hand, and hurl them directly into your opponents neck. (target takes 2d4 damage and is Weakened for the rest of the encounter)
4. Using your keen eye, you notice a small pouch of explosive powder attached to your targets' belt and quickly shoot a flaming arrow (or projectile) towards it. The pouch explodes and sends your target flying. (target takes 1d8 damage and is knocked Prone)
5. An extra burst of speed rifles through your arms as you quickly fire two arrows simultaneously. (target takes 2 [W])
6. Following your attack, your cunning and stealth come to your aid as you conceal yourself beneath your cloak. (you have Superior Cover until the end of your next turn)
7. A well placed shot slices the target's neck, opening up a large wound. Blood begins pouring out as the creature grasps at his neck to stop the bleeding. (target takes ongoing 5 damage - save ends)

Range Fumble

1. Pulling back on your bowstring (or ranged weapon implement), you carefully aim at your target and release!!...only you realize that you're still holding the arrow in your hand as the bow flies through the air. (weapon lands 1d6 away)
2. You cry out in little girlish agony as your fingers become caught in the bowstrings (or other weapon part) during your attack. (-2 penalty to Attack Rolls until the end of your next turn)
3. Before firing your weapon, you hear a ripping sound from the back of your clothes and you feel a sudden draft in a personal area. (-1 penalty to all actions as you attempt to cover your embarrassment)

Magic Crit

1. Casting the spell, your hands begin to glow fiercely as a ball of magical energy pulsates in front of you...and then implodes, carrying you with it as you are teleported from one location to another! (teleport 1d6 squares in any direction)
2. A whirlwind of blue arcane mist encircles you, and you raise your hand and push it towards your comrade, giving him/her a surge of rejuvinating energy. (ally can spend Healing Surge immediately and the caster is Invisible until the end of his next turn)
3. Following your powerful magical attack, you summon two giant fire elemental hands that grasp your foe and incinerate the creatures' flesh. (target is grabbed (save ends) and takes ongoing 5 fire damage (save ends))
4. The air above your enemey grows dark with thick storm clouds as you stretch out your hands to conjure a fierce blizzard directly above it. A wave of icy snow engulfs your foe as he is frozen solid. (target takes 1d6 cold/ice damage and is Immobilized - save ends)
5. You conjure several arcane symbols above your head and hurl them into the armor of your enemy, causing the armor to be imprinted with the symbols as they glow crimson red. (target takes -2 AC until end of next turn and is Stunned - save ends)
6. Several magical glowing green daggers imerge from your hands and float in front of you before they are send flying towards your target. The daggers pin down the targets clothing to the ground (or wall) and begin to slowly sap life away. (target is knocked prone and pinned to the ground (save ends) and takes ongoing 4 damage while pinned)
7.

Magic Fumble

1. A flock of rabbits fly by you, yes rabbits..with wings. They fly in the air above you and you are suddenly overcome with fear to the point where you cannot move. (Immobilized - save ends)
2. Large boulders fall from the sky (or ceiling starts to collapse) - roll Acrobatics for dodge, if not, 1d6 damage for all creatures within 10 squares of caster
3. Thick fog envelopes space around caster (blinded for 1 round)
4. Caster smells like a skunk for 1 day (-2 penalty to all checks attempting to help/benefit the caster during combat, and -2 penalty to Charisma)
5. You conjure a small bell in your hands, and are compelled to ring it before every action (-10 to stealth every time)
6. The area above you grows dark and a vast star-filled night sky appears in the air. You ponder your own existence, the vastness of the universe, the well being of your fellow man, the consistency of apple sauce and it's effect upon small goats and..... (you are Dazed until the end of your next turn)
7. Upon casting your spell, and image of a bard appears in front of you playing a lute. With a wave of his hand, a magical enchantment overcomes you as you cannot resist the urge to speak in rhyme...every time. (player must speak to other players and DM in rhyme fashion for 1d4 days..or until enchantment is removed)
8. You drop your implement (or staff) and burn your foot with fizzled magic. You hop around like an idiot, holding your foot (1d4 +1 damage for your clumsiness)
9. You overstrain your mind while attempting to focus for an ellaborate magical attack. Your spell backfires and strikes the floor beneath you creating a large fisure. (pit is magical and only exists in casters' mind. Caster rolls Save to avoid falling into pit; if Save, then caster only takes 1d6 pyschic damage. If failed Save, caster falls into a magical pit and is removed from play and takes 1d6 pyschic damage. Caster can escape pit with his next turn by using a standard action.)
10. A stray bolt of magical energy flies from your hands and strikes you directly in the right side of your neck. (caster takes 1d4 lightning damage, and now has an odd arcane symbol "tatooed" into their neck - DM chooses what symbol or image)
11. You create a small purple glowing turtle on the ground, which you immediately trip over and fall face down on the floor. (take 1d4 damage and you are Prone)

GameMastery sells a Critical hit and critical fumble deck that could be useful. I would suggest searching out 2nd edition tables, as that is when they were more popular amongst DMs of D&D.

well after doing some more searching, i think what i've settled on is creating my own crit/fumble chart. some of the charts ive found are way to severe in their bonuses and penalties and i really dont want to detract too much from the 4e rules. obviously i dont mind bending them a little, but i dont want the player to die because they rolled a natural 1, and then rolled a certain number on my chart that results in "instant death".

so i guess at this point im going to just start a list thats divided up into the following categories:

Melee Crit
Melee Fumble

Range Crit
Range Fumble

Magic Crit
Magic Fumble

i could probably combine some of the magic crits/fumbles with the range, but the magic ones have too much potential for awesomeness to be combined with another type of category. i want this to be fun and provide a little extra bonus/penalty and some cool fluff to go along with it. but above all, i want it to be fairly simple. roll a natural 1? roll a d20 and i'll look at the chart. done. anyway...i've stolen some of these from a couple of websites that listed tables, but here's what i have so far:


Magic fumbles

1. A flock of rabbits fly by you, yes rabbits..with wings. They fly in the air above you and you are suddenly overcome with fear to the point where you cannot move. (Immobilized - save ends)
2. Large boulders fall from the sky (or ceiling starts to collapse) - roll Acrobatics for dodge, if not, 1d6 damage for all creatures within 10 squares of caster
3. Thick fog envelopes space around caster (blinded for 1 round)
4. Caster smells like a skunk for 1 day (-2 penalty to all checks attempting to help/benefit the caster during combat, and -2 penalty to Charisma)
5. You conjure a small bell in your hands, and are compelled to ring it before every action (-10 to stealth every time)


short list i know, but i plan on adding a lot more between now and next week. feel free to add suggestions.

I love the ideas you have so far. I would definitely recommend using the GameMastery stuff for inspiration, despite them being for Pathfinder/3.5. Here are some random examples from their site:


(Note that these can often be found at other sites for cheaper).


(same note as above)

ive seen that stuff, but the only thing i worry about is that the bonuses and penalties again are a little too severe for me and my group. from what ive read, you either love or hate the crit/fumble chart stuff and i think the reason most hate it is because it skews the game a little TOO much. double damage on a crit? what about an extra damage die roll instead? so if you're attack does 3d8, then you roll 4d8 instead. the number crunch stuff is there for the mechanics of the game, but i think what MY players love the most is the fluff.

i guarantee you that they will be dying to know after they roll a 1 or 20 and ask "okay awesome, what did i do???" with a big smile on their face. too much of a penalty and they wont want to take chances. then again, i've only been dm'ing for about 2 years, so i really dont have much experience to back up any of my "knowledge"

EDIT

see original post as i put my table ideas up top. please feel free to suggest new ones or changes to existing.

I completely agree and think your point are extra valid when speaking of things in a different edition of the game.

+1[W] seems valid.

Your Magic fumble ideas are good too.

How about:
FUMBLES
-attack closest ally with basic attack and deal half damage if hit
-you are _____ (not sure if save ends or end of next turn is better here) - fill in the effect of choice [dazed, weakened, slowed, etc]
-penalty to attack rolls, save ends.
-lose a healing surge
-lose magic item daily use
-lose action point
-can't use daily powers for combat

CRITICALS
-shift or teleport X squares after attack
-deal half damage to an enemy target that wasn't being attacked
-increase area of attack
-change damage type and add an effect (like lightning damage and slide the target X squares)
-you or an ally spend a healing surge
-target becomes bloodied and if already bloodied, the target dies
-target is _______ (dazed, slowed, weakened, etc.)
-gain a healing surge for later use
-X bonus to speed until end of combat
-ally makes a melee basic attack
-act as though you had spent an action point
-regain use of a daily power (or gain another use of one if haven't used one yet)

PS
Fortune cards might help compile a list also.

The Devious Bool Of Fumbles And Crits for 4E, at RPGnow for $8.99. Copy-and-paste and printing is disabled, not sure how useful that makes it...

Some other options.

On a Crit - you shake your oppenent so baddly that the overreact to all your future attack (-1 to all defenses against just your attacks against this create for the rest of the encounter)

Melee fumble - your enemy hooks your weapon and rips it out of your hand. After a brief scramble it ends up in his hand (Enemy may chose to drop your weapon are start to use that for future attacks)


Ranged fumble:
1) Your ally distracts and you turn just as you release. (Target a random ally and reroll the attack against them)
2) As you release you hear a worrysome snap from your weapon. Until you repair it (short rest or standard action) take a -2 to all damage rolls using this weapon as you fear to launch your ammo at full force.
3) An errant gust of wind dirupts your shot, deal 1[W] damage against a random creatur adjcent to the target.

Magic Crit: your magic energy explodes out of the target create and deals 1/2 damage to a second enemy within 5 squares.

That's just some options, I'm sure that should give you the seed for more thoughts.

I thought I would resurrect this thread to add a few comments.

After around a year or so of using a crit/miss chart...my players really like it. I've found that in some instances, the extra damage or extra penalty is a little too much to bear for the players (and the monsters). What I've found though is that the crit/miss stuff that's more comical and cool sounding is really what the group likes. I've also found that it's too much of a hassle to have to pull up the crit/miss table every time...at least it is for me.

So with that said, I'm going to 1) create cards for crit/miss and put them face down so the players can draw themselves....and 2) the cards will be more about flavor text than anything. For instance, here are a couple of the cards I've come up with for critical miss:

1. Cheers! You reach into your inventory and some how produce a mug of ale, but then spit it out immediately as you discover it's non-alcoholic.

2. *Growwwwwwl!* Your stomach rumbles and the sense of intense hunger overcomes you. You begin to plan for the next D&D game by being responsible for bringing chips!

3. Amidst massive fumbling, you momentarily lose your inhibitions and unintentionally mention something extremely awkward, and otherwise unknown by the rest of the party. (truth about a lie, a secret, something embarrassing, etc)

So as you can see, those are more about making everyone laugh, then really punishing the player with damage or a condition. I have a stunned effect or something thrown in there every now and then, but it won't be the norm. I don't have critical hit stuff yet, but I plan on making those be more about making the player feel awesome. Something like that they get to mock the enemy in a certain gratifying way...or that nearby, an entire town hears about all of their deeds (true and untrue) and immediately thinks they are the most chivalrous person in the land. Stuff like that.

I'm going to make these cards and then I'll post them in a pdf here if anyone wants to use them. With that said...I'd welcome any more suggestions for non-game penalty inducing crit/miss flavor text! A few status effects aren't too bad, but no 2d8 damage or anything like that. If you do include damage, it needs to really make sense and be few and far between.

we use to be VERY descriptive when it's a death blow!

Last time i've used a charming spell that deals 5 dmg and slides 6 squares (lvl 1 wiz) as a last hit the description was:

Several strings of light come out of my orb wrapping around my target's limbs... then he is forced to move like a puppet, towards the sword of his dead ally, picking it up; you can see the terror in his eyes while he realizes he cannot avoid my command to cut his own throat!

I've seen those cards, but again...I'm wanting to create something of a more comical nature that doesn't necessary affect combat statistically.

I have 41 cards now (no pics or anything, just created 3x3 tables in word and typed in what I wanted in each one), but I can't upload them because this site won't allow pdf uploads. I don't want to take pics of every page, so I'm open to suggestions on how to upload here

Or share them on Dropbox or Mediafire or something.

Another resource you might want to check for inspiration is the DCC RPG by Goodman Games. Their critical hit and fumble tables really harken back to Rolemasters, and they're a hoot.