Probably not the phrase you want to hear from your DM, but it was a slow session.

The players (Fighter and a Magus) weren't even getting hit by a bunch of zombies.

"Miss. Miss."
"Miss. Miss."
"Miss. Miss."

Then I found them.

"Hit. Hit."
"Ow!"
"Hit. Miss."
"Ow!"
"Critical Critical Critical, Hit." Magus goes down.
"Sweet mother of God take those dice from him!"
"Hit, Zombie grapples the Fighter."
"Magus, help, I'm dead!"
"Fighter, fumble"
"Your sword goes flying down the hall. Success, the Zombie drags the fighter into the dark room. The floor feels like it may give away any second."
"Hit. Another Zombie is attacking you from behind. You've taken 17 damage so far, and you can't take this punishment much more."
"Fighter, I grab a flask of Alchemists fire, and smash it on the zombie, that way I'll have some light."
"You'll also light yourself on fire if you do that."
"I do it."
"Zombie goes down in flames and you can see the room you're in."
"I take the mace to Zombie... Hit.. 15 damage."
"Good timing the floor is feeling pretty weak. What do you do."

... and so ends the story of the lucky dice.

That sounds like one fight they'll talk about afterwards.

I love that pattern when it happens: Yes. ... Yes. ... Yes, got 'em again! ... Uh oh! ... Oh s@#$! ... F@*%^#%^%@ck! ... Hang in there buddy! ... Hang in there. ... Phew!

My dice hate everybody, but love irony.

The big baddy? Sometimes it feels like he prepares for battle by strewing the ground around him with banana peels and buttering his sword.

But the goblins, intended to just harass the party with short bows, at long range penalties? Death machines, they are....

The classic was in Warhammer Fantasy, where a minotaur was missing the PCs with every stroke.

Then the PCs took out one of his eyes, imposing a 20% penalty.... After that he was getting critical after critical....

Oddly, that doesn't seem to happen as much with Pathfinder, with no real reason that I can see... I guess my dice just like Pathfinder as much as I do.

The Auld Grump

I used to hold the record for rolling the most 1's! in fact playing in binary was the only way to get better rolls!

My last gaming group refused to use my die saying they were complete bad luck. (Fortunately in really dire situations they could still come up with 'pull-our-asses-out-out-of-the-fire' rolls.) I'm hoping the downtime before I join the next group is recharging their batteries, they sure needed it.