A steampunk cookbook by the loverly ladies what brings you Clockwork Cabaret - .

Trying the corned beef right now, and have to leave the house for a few hours - the food has reached the 'smells like food, but it ain't yet' stage.

My only complaint is that it skips three of what I consider steampunk essentials - Slumgullion, lobscouse, and eels.

If corned beef had not been in there I would have felt annoyed.

I will warn you about both lobscouse and slumgullion - their names are the most exciting parts.... Both are filling, and neither is all that expensive, though the lamb in lobscouse is getting a bit dear. (Properly, it should be mutton, not lamb - but good luck getting that in the states.

SLUMGULLION

1 lb. ground meat
1 med. onion, diced
I stalk celery, diced
1 lb. can tomatoes
1 (8 oz.) can tomato sauce
1 c. macaroni, heaping
1 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. pepper

In a large skillet, cook ground meat and onions. When meat is done, drain excess grease.

In another pan, cook macaroni. Crush the tomatoes and add them along with the sauce, macaroni, salt and pepper to the meat and onions in the skillet. Let the whole mixture simmer until some of the juice from the tomatoes cooks away.

Lobscouse -

INGREDIENTS
Serves 4-6 people

Half a Pound of Stewing Steak
Half a Pound of Lambs Breast
A Large Onion
1lb of Carrots
5lb of Potatoes
2 Beef Bullion Cubes
2 Teaspoons of Vegatable Oil
Worcester Sauce
Salt and Pepper
Water

HOW TO COOK
Takes 4 hours of slow cooking

Cut the meat into large cubes and fry in the vegatable oil until lightly browned all over. You may wish to add some Worcester Sauce at this point for added flavour.

Transfer the meat to a large saucepan and add the onion that should have been chopped into large chunks. Follow this by chopping the carrot into medallions and place this on the meat. Peel and then Finely dice 1lb of the potatoes and place on top of the carrots.

Fill the pan with cold water until it is half full. Break up the Oxo cubes and sprinkle into the water. Add salt and pepper for seasoning. Let the pan simmer gently, stirring occasionally. The large pieces of onion will start to break up and the potato will become soft and will make the final sauce thick.

Simmer for a total of two hours, then add the remaining potatoes that should have been peeled and roughly chopped, along with a few splashes of Worcester Sauce. Then simmer for another two hours.

Serve piping hot with red cabbage, beetroot, pickled onions and crusty bread. You may add Ketchup and HP for flavouring.

My grandma would add neeps (turnips or parsnips) or beets to both of those. Personally, I add a dollop of white horseradish to the 'scouse.

The Auld Grump

If anyone is thinking about trying Harlock's Corned Beef in the cookbook, a word of warning - it takes freakin' forever!

I started it cooking, did some work on the computer, left to run a game, and it was already smelling like food by then. Got back, and still had to wait for another six hours!

The second warning - it smells wonderful!
The idea was to have corned beef for sandwiches. By the time it was done I had to eat some of it right away.

Third Warning - It tastes as good as it smells!
Almost half of the big chunk o' corned beef is now gone. None of it has made it into sandwiches.

Fourth Warning - Yuck!
Do not leave the greasy drippings and tinfoil over night! That stuff is foul!

Over all, I give it a solid 8.5 on my Grump-o-meter, if I had been smart then I would have popped it into the oven in the morning, gone to work, gone to see Harry Potter, and come home to take it out and put it in the fridge for sandwiches. But noooo....

The Auld Grump

We've taken to putting it in the slow-cooker while we go off to work.